What I Do When I Want to Give Up

I had a poem accepted in the WFOP (Wisconsin Fellowship of Poets) Spring 2012 Museletter, and that is pretty exciting for me.  However.  Yes, however.  I am truly a minion in the poetic world and I should really just stop and go to my rocker or something.  However, the urge to write and to create is sometimes strong enough for me to simply say, hey, I can do this; I can even get better at this.

Still, sometimes when I look at older stuff I’ve written, I think, I was much more creative then.  Why?  More spontaneous?  Am I trying too hard to learn form and fit my thoughts into a mold?  Did I know less then about poetry – what’s good, famous, important or simply what’s being written and published today?  Am I trying too hard?  Not hard enough or, more reasonably, often enough?  Yes!  All of the above.

I have been too busy lately with things necessary and desired to drift and dream and let my subconscious have its way, so what have I done instead?  Organize.  When in angst, I organize.  So I now have folders for the WFOP Museletters, Verse Wisconsin, Woodland Pattern Book Center, Rosebud, and Wisconsin People and Ideas (the magazine of the Wisconsin Academy of Sciences, Arts and Letters).  I have a large accordian folder for poems that I have enjoyed, plus a collection of articles about poems, poets and writing poetry; one large accordian folder for poems I have written and… the piece de resistance, a very slim three ring binder for poems I have written that have been published.  Yea.  I hope to keep adding to it, even as I know that the exercise is hopeless.  As Emily Dickenson said, “Hope is the thing with feathers.”  Perhaps someday my poems will fly, too.

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