So Many Questions

Matthew Yeager wrote a poem made up entirely of questions, maybe a thousand or more.  He lost count.  It’s called “A Jar of Balloons, or The Uncooked Rice.”  Here is a sample from an exerpt printed in the 2010 Best American Poetry anthology.

Have you ever had a haircut so bad

you cried?  When you open the dreawer

after having poured yourself a bowl of cereal

do you reach for a small or a large

spoon?  How conscious are you of your

posture?  Will you agree to let a lover use

your toothbrush?  Which chemical?

This goes on and on.  BAP published about 10 pages of it.  I tried to find the entire thing on the internet, but it’s gone.  Or I can’t find it.  But the questions, which Yaeger said he wrote on a tablet while commuting, are hysterical.  They are like the stream of consciousness of a 12 year old with an adult’s sense of rectitude.  You know there is a “correct” answer, probably, and you probably won’t like it.  As in:  “Are you punctual?  Is your signature legible?  Showers or baths?” which are more Yeager questions.

I am going to start a page in this blog of questions.  I do not plan to determine whether they replicate Yaeger’s questions or anyone else’s.  Here is the first one, prompted by instructions on a label: 

What happens if you put Nutella ®

in the microwave or the refrigerator? 

Will it melt and not be spreadable anymore?

Or will it harden and not be spreadable? 

If it is no longer spreadable, is it still Nutella®

or is it just….chocolate?

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